Pregnancy, Marriage, Miscarriage, Depression, Pregnancy Symptoms
First, the big announcement…
On August 31, 2020 we found out that, we were having a baby! I was 4 weeks pregnant when we found out, and we were over the moon excited! I took 3 different pregnancy tests from different brands just to be absolutely sure. The baby is due early May/ late April, which is perfect timing for our family. Hopefully COVID is better handled by then…
A few days after we found out, I told my managers at work, because COVID is a big concern of ours and my managers promised to do their best to keep me and the baby safe if we let them know once we were pregnant. At the time, we were on “Express Pickup” at the library. Meaning, patrons could schedule pickups for items and pick them up at the door. I felt fairly safe with the whole situation and my pregnancy was going well at this point.
The First Trimester:
The Struggle Begins…
At the beginning of week 6, I began feeling very nauseous. Halfway through week 6, I began feeling sharp pains and cramping in my uterus area, and then I began to spot (lightly bleed). I didn’t have any prenatal intake appointments until week 10, so I had to schedule an emergency appointment with a different Obstetrician (OB) to figure out what was wrong.
When I had my appointment in week 7, I was even more nauseous than before. So much so, that I carried around a baggie, because I would randomly vomit if I got hungry or ate/drank anything. I mentioned this to the OB, and she prescribed me the only nausea medications safe during pregnancy.
We also did an ultrasound that day, and the results were less than comforting. The doctor told me my gestational sac was empty, except for a very tiny dot, and therefore I was miscarrying. My heart sunk to my toes at this news. The rest of the visit was a blur. They ran some blood tests, prepared me for the physical loss to come, and told me to come back for more blood tests in a few days.
Fortunately, the spotting stopped two days later and the cramping too. The blood tests all came back with good news, and at the beginning of week 8 I had another appointment. The ultrasound showed an adorable little cheerio with a heartbeat! Everything was okay, but my mental state was not. Although, we were very excited when we got to tell each of our parents on video call.
After the miscarriage scare, I found myself not feeling excited to be pregnant, because I was just waiting for disaster. At every appointment, they reminded me I could miscarry up to 20 weeks and I still had genetic testing to pass. Additionally, during all of this I became violently ill with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I couldn’t hold down anything, not even water, and when my stomach was empty, I dry heaved. I was unable to work for weeks, because I was throwing up every 30-40 minutes, even with medication.
After several hospital visits and IVs for hydration, I was able to hold down high alkaline, bland foods with the medications. But, my diet was very limited and vitamins were out of the question. I was stuck on this limited diet with some very bad days sprinkled throughout until week 14. All of my appointments with my actual OB went well, and once I hit week 12 the nausea was fairly under control with medication and a limited diet.
We also told the rest of our family and announced the pregnancy on social media in week 12, which was such a joy. The ultrasound the following week showed the baby has little hands and feet and a face! This was the moment when my fears and depression began to fade. The realization that we are having a real little human set in when I finally got to see the baby looking like an actual baby. I am so happy to not worry constantly and finally feel pregnant and excited about it now.
Entering the Second Trimester:
Feeling better now…
I am now in week 18 of pregnancy and feeling much much better. I still have to take nausea medication, and I can’t eat certain foods. Thankfully, I can eat most things now. My energy is also back, but I do have trouble sleeping now, even though I need a lot less. I went from sleeping whenever I was home in the first trimester, to only sleeping at night, and even that has been less since the insomnia is setting in.
On week 10, I felt the baby moving for the first time, and week 16 is when I felt the first strong movements from the outside. Now, at week 18, I can feel and see movement from the outside of my tummy, but others still can’t.
There is a lot more I could get into detail about, but I will save that for a trimester specific post in the future.